Becoming

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One of the coolest aspects of creating new strategies & ideas is that mental rush that flows, as we look to problem solve & innovate. For me, I amp up with excitement, as a flurry of iterations run through my head. Part of my challenge is watching my energy level & talking speed so I that don’t dominate the room. So, today, I followed through & recorded the brainstorming session which forced me to have more restraint & mindfulness when contributing. I asked attendees if they minded my recording for coaching purposes, coaching myself.

As a result, I felt much happier by the end of the meeting. I clearly had a much better result in collaboration. It wasn’t a coincidence.

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It’s kind of crazy how much better the energy flowed, just with my heightened awareness around my communication patterns. The voice recorder can act as my accountability tool, just like this blog. If I can nudge my conversational habits in the direction of more listening & deeper reflection, then I won’t be that person people cringe at when she speaks up in meetings. You know. That person.

Part of my habits relate to engagement & enthusiasm, that when my thoughts go rapid fire, with the synapses going off, I know I’m onto something major. It’s all too exciting for me.

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When my anxiety spikes, though, all of a sudden I feel imposter syndrome, like why would anyone listen to me? When I led the presentation on leading with vulnerability, last week at the summit, I shared some of my biggest failures. I discussed my insecurities, & attendees were asked to write & share about their past shameful moments. One woman colleague of mine asked a close teammate why he didn’t write or share, and he explained that shame wasn’t something he “did.” She retorted, “Privileged white male.” He nodded. This prompted a later discussion about women and shame…

Do we as women experience shame more often than men do? Certainly, when it comes to issues of sexuality, I’d say yes. So it might carry out in professional identities as well.

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As I reflect, I’m uplifted by the positive meeting today, & the overwhelmingly positive feedback people recently have been sending me by card or email. The recurring word that keeps coming up is “heart,” which is pretty incredible. It’s due to WGU’S amazingly nurturing, supportive, & authentic culture of care. I feel so blessed to have people value my contributions so greatly. I’ve never been surrounded by so many genius-level minds connected to incredible hearts & souls. It’s contagious. We lead by our hearts. Or, we should.

This place, our people, the WGU culture deserve the best version of myself I can give. Our students deserve our giving it our all. And so, I continue to nudge, disrupt myself to BE that person, that better me. I feel change happening already.

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