Recently, I have been amusing myself with at-home YouTube recordings from Jimmy Fallon & Jimmy Kimmel, who openly discuss (both in relation to their own homes & with the guests they interview) the trials & tribulations of being quarantined with their kids 24/7. All of a sudden, parents need to homeschool & entertain their children due to closed schools & social distancing guidelines that will be in place for quite some time. I must admit that I feel comforted by the antics & humor both Jimmys have been relating by having their children participate in their filming. Jimmy Fallon in particular gets real with his daughters Winnie & Frannie & his wife Nancy, revealing the moments of levity that cabin fever & an unrelenting need to be accessible even while working from home can present. In one segment, he Zooms with Lin-Manuel Miranda, & the latter candidly talks about the difficulty of having to suddenly become a math teacher at home. In another interview, Alec Baldwin hilariously jokes about going stir crazy, especially with his young sons who demand more than his daughter in terms of attention. Jimmy Kimmel connects with Will Arnett re: frustration over older parents who won’t comply with social distancing.

These videos & segments humanize the unique experience of working parents who have to juggle work from home with kids always around in truly relatable ways. You can feel a part of a larger community of “we are all in this together.”

My sister-in-law and niece both homeschool their children year-round, & I’m definitely developing more of an appreciation for those stay-at-home parents who sacrifice their personal lives & professional advancement in order to provide a better education to their kids. The demand of being calm & supportive to littles can grow rather taxing, so self-awareness & being able to step away to another room can help. And baths. Lots of baths & water toys to tire them out. As I’ve grappled my way so far in trying to balance video meetings, data dives, & projects with giving adequate attention & support to a three-year-old boy, I’ve discovered there are little blessings I’m noticing which offset the banging-on-the-door meltdowns when Mommy is in an online work meeting. Most notably, the little one is super happy in general. Like all the time. I can tell he loves random hugs & kisses & cuddles. He will want to sit in mommy’s lap or “snuggle Mommy,” so attachment parenting is a thing.

These warm fuzzies do brighten my day, a kind of unexpected sense of bonding & reassurance during a stressful, turbulent time. The little generally is smiling, talking excitedly, wanting to share things, seeking connection–& it’s infectious.

The main points of frustration really stem from when the little one can’t have my immediate attention when he wants it. Thankfully, my work & team all understand the challenges of having kids around all of the time. They get it. There’s been a relaxing of the rigidity that other institutions tend to mandate (from my own personal experience) to value the positives that children & fur-babies can provide in terms of employee well-being. When society is threatened by an external crisis (a pandemic, a war, etc.), values can shift dramatically as we remember purpose & meaning in life. Humans often begin to remember those things that make us human–love, attachment, humor, creativity, empathy, a sense of belonging. And that realization can spur changes in behavior. Positive changes.

For me, I do work in breaks in the day for the little one so that he can regularly feel that support & connection. I pause at the window or go out on the deck to look at the mountains, to soak in some sunshine, & I spend time giving TLC to Wicket & the kitties. All of this brings positive energy.

There are also other benefits to being around little ones. They remind us to play & be creative & dance & sing. They remind us of the wonder experienced when discovering something for the first time. They challenge the way we think we learn–from coordination, language acquisition, problem solving, charisma & persuasion, to all the amazing knowledge of the natural world. Knocking over blocks teaches lessons about gravity & force. Even repetition can introduce laws of chaos or probability. From thermodynamics (the bath is too hot) to the other senses, the home can provide all kinds of chances for hands-on learning for littles but in imaginative ways. I’m grateful beyond belief that this virus has been sparing our children. I cannot even begin to imagine the horrors we’d be facing were our youngest as at-risk as our seniors are currently. (This is not to downplay the horrors our elders face–my 82-year-old diabetic mother is at high risk & it’s very hard to be living so far away. But at the same time it’s better to avoid all risks & my living closer might have presented temptation for visits.) Life is so precious. And our littles will be the ones to lead us into the future. They will be inheriting this world. How we lead them through this pandemic matters. I think of films like Life Is Beautiful & Room, where parents protect their children’s innocence in the midst of something truly terrible.

For me, I’ll continue to make the most of this gift of time with my son. I’ll continue to enjoy those smiles, giggles, & hugs. Every single moment is precious. Make them count.