Being connected to technology comes with the territory.
When it comes to really knowing my personality type, you could say I’ve been a bit of a late bloomer. There have always been characteristics I’ve exhibited since childhood, which spurred comments that tended to relate to gender. I was seen as a fairly “serious” kid who liked to talk a lot and question things. My parents joked about my habitual inquiry, “Why?”
And then there were the teasing digs from my dad and brothers about my being argumentative, which in hindsight I think really just connected to my need for logic. (I enjoyed a good debate, & I still do. I actually started out as a Poli Sci major & wanted to become a lawyer for a long time.) Responses like “Because I said so” and “Life isn’t fair” or even “Seniority rules” didn’t make sense to me. They still don’t. But I’ve learned to pick & choose my battles a little more wisely in middle age.
When introverts need to isolate in a busy or open work environment, headphones can provide respite.
Yet, there’s an added layer to being an introvert when you’re a woman professional, & that becomes even more complicated by becoming a mother in your early 40s. When I entered an administrative track in higher education, I did so not out of personal ambition or a genuine desire to involve myself in policy & educational oversight, but rather to perform a kind of civic duty. From being a Poli Sci major, I learned: You shouldn’t complain about a system if you aren’t willing to do something to improve it or make it better in some way. And, thus, I took that to heart & decided to step up.
So, I became a department chair because I wanted to advocate for fellow faculty. As I’ve continued down this path over the past five years, I’ve noticed the hurdles that keep increasing in difficulty & the winnowing out of women as they approach the executive office suite. It reminds me of when I was the only woman in my Differential Equations course in undergrad, when I had a math minor.
Multitasking really shouldn’t & doesn’t work for anyone, but we are still expected to keep up the charade.
As the pressure and intensity of expectations have kept increasing, I’ve found that my innate introversion has become somewhat of a liability. And I have to very consciously think about ways to manage the stress & anxiety that intensifies when I don’t have enough alone time or quiet to decompress. In a modern tech age of open cubicles & always being wired in, finding that precious solitude & downtime can present a real challenge. It’s all too easy to internalize & criticize yourself for not always being peppy enough or for dropping one of the many balls you are juggling, especially provided that this profession attracts perfectionists & high achievers.
That’s actually part of why I even started this blog. Thanks to work by writers like Susan Cain and Laurie Helgoe, the professional world has become more aware of the introverts who navigate among celebrated extroverts in a culture of “winning friends & influencing people.” That pressure to perform, to appear full of energy & present as “positive,” becomes further intensified when you add in the gender construct of the “feminine.” Women in general are already expected to smile a lot in American culture. Yet prized leadership traits require one to appear cool, confident, authoritative, unflappable, & disciplined (all necessary in order to be seen as an effective leader or executive presence)–– often read as traditionally “masculine.”
Finding a moment to grab a coffee or tea can offer a few minutes to walk, taking a break for a spot of alone time.
Thus, it should come as no surprise that women still have a very long way to go to smash the very real Glass Ceiling in American society, no matter what songs like “Run the World (Girls)” try to portend. We have yet to see a woman president or even vice president elected. In fact, only 5% of the CEOs listed in Fortune 500 are women. Even more depressing is the fact that the number of women CEOs overall dropped by -25% in 2018:
http://(http://fortune.com/2018/05/21/women-fortune-500-2018/
This sadly shows a trend downward in the political climate of the #MeToo movement, rather than an increase in women being promoted, which cuts against the expectation that things would get better with time. In fact, patriarchal hegemony seems quite alive & well, even thriving.
What does all of this mean? Well, I don’t know quite what yet. But I’m planning to continue to think about this, especially as I connect with other women colleagues & peers.
On Monday, August 13th, I’ll be attended an all-day workshop held by the New Hampshire Women in Higher Education Leadership (NHWHEL) titled, “Straight to the Top: Guidance for Women Heading for a College Presidency.” Please know that I’ll be tweeting from sessions & will share insights from the experts. Perhaps, other introverted women professionals might want to connect?
Staying connected to a network of women in higher ed certainly helps.
So, do expect more pieces about this topic to be posted on here in the future, as I’ve still a great deal to learn. One of my professional goals, this upcoming year, is to find a thought leader mentor & take on a new mentee, myself, & I’ve even purchased podcast equipment to start interviewing other high-functioning, working women introverts to provide different perspectives. Some lofty goals, yes, but I have to start somewhere.
More to come. But I will be threading this recurring subject of the career introvert in academe among my other posts, as this kind of growth & self-awareness were critical factors in my use of social media in the first place. Thanks for bearing with me, and please feel free to comment with your own insights should you feel so moved.
A quiet nook at work or a nearby library, café, or space outside, can help offset a day full of meetings.
I understand being inquisitive and thought to be argumentative. As for work, once I knew the procedure, I wanted to do it as quickly and efficiently as possible. The downside to working at stores, fast food restaurants, and factories was the lack of breathing room.
Being around people all day, whether it was school or work, I cherished my alone time once I got home. Being a wife and mother, I value any alone and quiet time I get to recharge, relax and work on projects undisturbed.
I prefer to work by myself, but when it is necessary to work with people, I prefer to sit and develop a plan before we get started.
Wow, working retail or restaurants requires incredible stamina. I’ve done the factory jobs, too. Soldering circuit boards, as a machinist, packing boxes for a catalog company, even working in a textile mill… While a college student. But I didn’t have kids or a house to take care of! You’re definitely a tough cookie. Good for you! 🙌🏻👍🏻
The jobs were before I had kids. But, just like when I clocked out back then, I enjoy my alone time when my kids and husband go to bed. I love my family, but when I don’t get time to myself to do things I enjoy or relax on the couch, I feel like I am going to short circuit.
A small part of me misses working outside the house, but when I remember I only had 1 to 2 short breaks and a half hour lunch, I don’t miss it as much. There never was a place to go to be alone during those brief breaks.
I figure, someday, I will have a career. I would like it to be a writing career, but I know it is difficult to break into the writing field. If nothing else, I can get a job outside the house once all my kids are in school full time.
The beautiful thing is that you can write anywhere, anytime. Becoming a writer takes passion and persistence. Never discourage yourself by thinking about difficulty or age. You can do anything you want if you are determined enough, and right now you’re doing an amazing thing in caring for your family. That’s a tough sacrifice with little public recognition. But your being an engaged, devoted mother is a huge accomplishment! Much harder than most careers!
Thanks for sharing, I loved this post. I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m a complete introvert but I definitely value my alone time. So your tips for dealing with stress like this when I’m working we’re very helpful. What are some other tips you have for dealing with stress?
Thank you for reading! Introversion, as you know, is really about energy transfer. When you know you’ll have a lot of meetings or social events, try to schedule a morning or afternoon off to balance it out. Grabbing coffee or tea in a quiet space even if for 20 min can help. The biggest thing really is making use of your PTO and/or scheduling low-key weekends, periodically, when you can rest in a comfy space.
I feel like I’m an introvert. It tends to be confused for being “dead inside, “asshole” and “anti-social”. I’m trying to break that as I don’t have many friends, but I’m not sure I’m willing to meet the energy requirements needed.
Totally understandable. It’s taken years for me to even realize my introversion. Knowing is a great step towards figuring out how to connect with others.
I am an introvert BUTmy infj requires a certain level of help, interaction and extroversion. Therefore, I am a critical care registered nurse. My need to help in my service to others is what drives me but it also exhausts me. I force extroversion at work and am introverted out side of work. But CCU is also an environment that challenges me, allows me freedom, allows thinking, allows exclusivity and individuality while allowing me to “be around people”. Odd but a driving force. I cannot be secluded ans needto be needed 🙂 your blog is one 1 haver silently followed and thoroughly enjoyed. I agree that we need to be somewhere that we feel we can make a difference 🙂
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. We introvert intuitives definitely need to feel a sense of purpose. Nursing is such a caring profession. God bless you for all you do for others. It’s not an easy thing to do. You are making a difference.