The little, loving his owl. 

When I think about the things that provide me with comfort, I think of comfy spaces, warm blankets, knits to wear, books, fireplaces, mugs of tea, biscuits, candles, pillows, & dozing pets. When faced with new places, new people, new events, new environments, I feel emotions opposite to comfort, emotions tied to insecurity, anxiety, & fear. My little one has recently become very attached to his blanky, his security blanket, which he carries everywhere. And I’m okay with his having it. We all need symbols of love in our lives. We shouldn’t feel ashamed for needing those symbols if they reduce anxiety & help us navigate uncertain spaces.

A book, a coffee cup, a phone, headphones, a journal, a drawing pad… Adult symbols that provide security. Even a hat my mother knit.

Knits make me happy, always have. 

My mother crocheted before she developed the rheumatoid arthritis that gnarled her hands. She inherited this condition from her mother, a farmer housewife who could craft practically anything. I have quilts & hooked rugs my grandmother created, with yarns that she dyed by hand. My mother’s art took the form of the ubiquitous afghans that graced every couch & bed in our house, growing up. When I left for college, my mother crocheted a massive double-stitched afghan of the softest, warmest yarn. She told me, “Each time you wrap yourself up in it, I want you to imagine me hugging you.”

For me, blankets mean love. And when I see the little one clutching & hugging his, I’m grateful that he feels that love & comfort.

The little with his Aslan. 

Anyway, when I reflect on the things that truly matter in life, that give me a sense of meaning as a human being, what I care most about are things like compassion, kindness, & authenticity in care. A kind heart trumps any other asset. Given this, I need to align my comportment with my values, & work on allowing myself to feel vulnerable more. (Here I’m channeling the leadership models promoted by Brené Brown & Whitney Johnson, which challenge me.)

Daring leaders embrace their failures, rejections, losses. They face shame dead on. I have a lot of work ahead to push out of my comfort zone, but for a greater good & purpose. Perhaps my symbols of care can help me push outside of comfort zones so that I can grow into a better leader who can help more people. That’s the mission.