The distant mountains in pinks & blues. 

Appreciating the beauty of morning is a newer thing for me. The anxiety that comes with parenthood paired with the years of sleep deprivation from a young child force you to get used to those wee hours, so I’ve been reading & reflecting more on my mistakes & vulnerability during stolen moments. I become reminded of unexpected gifts that come from sudden & great change, like these mornings I now appreciate.

When I met with a mentor today, I received useful feedback about listening & coming from a place of calm, that feeling unhurried should be my goal. An astute bit of advice, entirely true. When I’m in new situations with new people, I do overcompensate by projecting what I think is confidence but is actually just high energy. My anxiety then makes me grow impatient & more prone to frustration, never good things for first impressions or in group dynamics.

The magical moon, playing peek-a-boo. 

My aim for the foreseeable future is to limit my talking, continue to take notes & reflect, & try to give others a sense of openness that I’m willing to hear, even want, constructive criticism. Energy is also something to be carefully regulated, meted out, which is likely why I crash out after a lot of work or social engagements. Pacing will be a useful skill, especially as things ramp up more & more.

What does this have to do with the moon or morning landscapes, you may ask?

Morning kaleidoscopic skies. 

Well, I’d like to use images like these ones taken this morning to remind me again & again of how insignificant I am in the vastness of the universe. I slowed myself to take the pictures & then reflected on them. I ask myself: How do I learn to internalize self-knowledge into changed behavior? What are the strategies, images, words, even gestures that can remind me to slow my thoughts & breathing & be okay. How can I be calm like the moon, sky, trees?

Can I still myself to be as serene & soothing like these morning moments? How do I remain soft & accessible like new-fallen snow?

Powdery snow, like confectioner’s sugar, clinging to trees & mountains.