If you, dear readers, happen to follow my Twitter feed (@INFJPhD), then you know that I’ve tweeted about my penchant for apps on my iPhone & iPad that provide color-by-numbers fun. What makes the electric version of coloring fun & rather calming is the excitement in filling little pockets & flecks of shapes that then pop with color, revealing fascinating patterns or combinations of hues that one wouldn’t necessarily imagine. Engaging in the process reminds me of the magic paint books where the “hidden” watercolors became revealed through the process of adding just water on a paintbrush & sweeping over the surface. Come to think about it, I particularly loved the artistic activities that provided that kind of surprise. You know, the black wax over a colored picture that you could reveal by scratching off that wax? That was fun. And then there were those “magic” coloring books that came with a uncolored marker that somehow created a chemical reaction, revealing colors on a picture that appeared blank. I really, really loved those.

Reflecting on that now, I find it strange that I was so drawn to coloring activities with such an element of dazzle or the unexpected.

Forgive me if I return to certain images or memories in more than one post here on this blog site, in that my mind tends to enjoy revisiting those happy things of which I am very fond. You likely may have read somewhere on here (as I’m sure to have written about it before) that one of my favorite gifts as a child was the Crayola Caddy, a honking big mustard-colored block of plastic with compartments for all of the different types of art supplies you could store. It swiveled at the base like a “lazy Susan” (sorry to all Susans out there, as I’m sure you’re not lazy), providing ease of use of whichever art supply you needed close at hand. One of my favorite parts of back-to-school shopping involved all of the new writing & art supplies that I could get, which normally my parents would say no to when shopping at K-Mart or Zayre’s (for those of you old enough to remember that chain). As a child of late 70s, I can remember there being a widespread feeling of frugality in a struggling economy, so as the youngest of six getting new things was a rarity.

But my mother never chintzed (yes, a word my family used) on school supplies.

Recently, there’s been a kind of revival or reclaiming of coloring as not just a child’s activity anymore. With the advent of “adult” coloring books–often more intricate & elaborate with dizzying patterns. There are differently themed coloring books, playing upon every hobby or special interest a grown-up might have. Adults rather than using crayons, though, seem encouraged to purchase upscale, colored pencil sets in fancy tins that coordinate. Have we entered an age of nostalgia for childhood, where my generation (Gen-X) refused to grow up & instead clings to those things of the past, things that remind us of being kids again? I mean, the 80s are having a heyday. From remakes of favorite films to books, TV, & films that capitalize on 80s culture entirely (Ready Player One, Stranger Things, The Goldbergs, Red Oaks, Edge of Seventeen, I, Tonya, Captain Marvel, Wonder Woman 1984, Adventureland, & not to mention the Star Wars series The Mandalorian, etc.), those fond of the 80s like me are able to enter a kind of cultural simulacrum, imagining being a kid again like in The Goonies. In a weird way, coloring triggers that muscle memory of the past, & all those feelings rush back as if no time has passed at all.

Maybe that’s what creates a kind of calm in me when I color or play with a color-by-numbers app on my tablet? My slipping back into a time of no responsibilities, when the biggest worry seemed what time you had to go to bed or what TV show you got to watch, helps me to feel worry-free.

As I tap away magically turning tiny geometric shapes various colors, a pattern starts to emerge. The excitement of watching it progress, not knowing how the whole image will look when it’s done, keeps me in its thrall. It’s addictive, those color-by-number apps. But are they any worse than fidget toys or putty wads or stress balls that one uses to drain nervous energy during intense periods of listening & concentration? Objects most teachers of energetic kids have available on their desks to help students focus in class. Doodling helps too, but that’s less acceptable in adults, let alone career professionals. Introverts with anxiety need an outlet for their mental stimulation. We are already abuzz in our minds with all kinds of thoughts & ideas & problem-solving. By focusing on a simple activity, as simple as possible, can bring some relief. Mindless pleasure that taps into memory of being carefree.

For me, that’s the magic coloring. And there it is.