With all of the change that has been occurring in our lives, I must admit that I feel very fortunate that I work for an online university & that my job hasn’t really been affected yet in terms of financial stability. WGU early adopted the social distancing practice & we have all been working from home, using the wonders of technology & video conferencing we have available to us. Of course, as covered in my previous blog post, daily routines can include interruptions of all sorts–both good & not as good. One of my favorite professors & mentors (Dr. Vittum, now passed) used to lament the advent of telephones because when people would call the person being called would be expected to drop everything & answer, even if it would be an inconvenient time. With call waiting, that kind of inserting of self into a conversation exacerbated, so now most of us feel compelled to answer & appease as many people as we can without offending anyone. Pre-pandemic, video calls & chatting were more optional than required. My nieces & nephews would FaceTime me, sure, & I’d use various video conferencing tools for work; yet, there wasn’t this complete transition to communication without physical presence.

Now, I’m finding that I need to video chat more often than I ever have, & as an introvert I have some mixed feelings about it. It’s as if the extroverts in my life REALLY need to connect, & the general anxiety & unsettling climate of the pandemic prompts more people to want to talk more often.

For example, the other night, two of my nieces, my sister & her husband, & my mom all had a video call via Facebook Messenger. Yes, I somehow managed to help my 82-year-old mother figure out how to video chat on her laptop (& yes, that took a walk-through on the phone, but we got there!). So, take heart, readers! You can teach much older people to use this tech to keep them from placing themselves at risk to see family. You just need patience & some beer. But seriously, Mom caught on pretty quickly, & even though we were in four different places & two different time zones, we magically talked to each other in real time, seeing all of our expressions & mannerisms in full glory. Those moments with family, friends, & coworkers can be incredibly uplifting when introverts need to be social. We can be alone for long periods at a time, but underneath it all most people are social animals (unless there’s a pathological reason).

So, please, please hear all of that good because I deeply value the ability to use this technology & I do enjoy great conversations with loved ones. There can be so much love & general positive esteem conveyed through these means.

Yet, I must also add that as an introvert it feels like the demands for socializing has grown exponentially. Calls, texting, chatting, social media, & video calls abound. But there’s a balance to be found in always being camera-ready, especially as a mother to a 3-year-old. People want to see & talk to the little, too, so I oblige & manage my energy. And, really, it’s not the planned sessions that perturb me but rather the unexpected calls & pings that interrupt whatever I’m doing. It’s weird because if introverts are honest & say that they just don’t have the energy or inclination to talk, then more often than not someone becomes offended. I noticed this long ago with my mother. If I cut a phone call short or pick up & say I can’t talk, then that’s much worse than not answering & letting her leave me a message. Ever since moving to Utah & living in a different time zone, my mother doesn’t call as much & leaves it to me usually to make contact. So, this isn’t an issue any longer. But now the forms of communication come in from all directions.

Again, don’t get me wrong! I love the people in my life. I want to talk to them. I enjoy human connection. It’s the sudden disruption of a routine or plan that throws everything else off. And it doesn’t feel right to not answer or put off that communication.

One of the greatest comforts in all of this is that by working from home I have more ability to dress casually & give my pets attention. My fur babies have never had it so good. I can sit in more comfortable places, like my bed, & I can wear slippers instead of dress shoes. The simple pleasures do soften my edges. I also think about the history through which I’m (& all of us) living, what stories we may tell in the years to come. Will all of this become inspiration for new literary works? When ordering grocery deliveries, I think about food rationing during WWII, & how sugar, butter, milk, & eggs came at a premium unless you lived on a farm. With bunches of overripe bananas & no eggs on hand, I had to resort to finding an eggless banana bread recipe. I thought of the BBC/PBS show “1940s House,” a reality TV show which had a family living in a house equipped to the standards of that time. The family could only wear clothes & use objects available to people from that period. One episode where the mother saved up rationing tickets to acquire enough sugar, flour, & butter for a cake has recently come to mind, as with the banana bread recipe I needed to find. Life is now full of disruption & interruptions, & introverts tend to take solace in the predictable, in the routine.

And so, dear readers, please be kind to yourself through all of the day-to-day changes & concessions we all have to make. After all, there remains so much for which to be grateful. Fellow introverts, please manage your energy & maintain your boundaries so you can find balance, too.